The New Gay

Once upon a time, homosexuals were discriminated against, looked down upon as undesirables, and fags, many were kicked out of their homes, grounded, and basically mocked, while they were praying the gay away. The obsession with fighting against homosexuality was out of control. We were shamed, made fun of, and even got the crap beaten out of us. Being Gay was seen as having the plague. Fast forward to today, and transsexuality is the new Gay.

The obsessive nature especially of mothers who are so bent on controlling their daughters is beyond natural. I believe that the problem is stemming from a poor mother-daughter relationship or an excessive expectation for their daughters to be a certain way. The rebellious nature of these teens created the obsession to transition, and now the blame is being placed on the trans community as well as the medical professionals who treat us. This has been an accident waiting to happen, the years of repression, excessive shaming, and overall making us feel less than for who we love and are, this has created a cascade of events that has brought out the worse in many.

Being transexual is normal, there have always been individuals throughout history who have not felt aligned with their bodies, and prefer to live life as the opposite sex they were born as. Society has always had issues with people like us, but in reality, we are not going away any time soon, on the contrary, we will see even a bigger rise in transition in the upcoming decades. In the process, there will be many who will get misdiagnosed, this in part is because of social media which has created a hive mind mentality and a haven for those who feel they don’t belong and think that being trans will solve their problems.

Word of advice, please make sure you reflect and really dig deep into the issue, no one is to blame if you find yourself transitioning without doing the inner work. Transitioning is not a quick fix to your problems, on the contrary, you will find greater ones. If you detransition things will be even worse for you because now, you feel shame for making a mistake, feeling like a fool, and the obsession you had with the transition, will take a different form in your detransitioning, reverse obsession. Understand that the changes you have made are permanent, your inner turmoil will create anger, frustration, and the need to lash out at others while making them a scapegoat and a punching bag.

In addition, I wanted to add that the medical community is far from perfect, they are a business, in it for profit, and they are doing what they do best, making money. To lash out at the service providers, who were there to help you when you needed them most is unfair and wrong. To parents, I know you don’t want to take responsibility, but if you are having problems with your teen and kids, reflect and see where are the problems coming from, and where did you go wrong, many times poor family dynamics and poor parenting is to blame?

I find that the loudest are the mothers who refuse to let their daughters go, it feels like a blow to their ego and motherhood. The religious love this hill, they can shove their Jesus down your throats and hope for a new convert. The conservatives are doing what they have always done, but with a bigger passion, since they hate that gay marriage is legal now, so all the hatred goes to us the new kids on the block, the new bullied candidates, the trans folks.

As a former detransitioner, who basically internalized all the hatred and shame I had received in a lifetime, first for being a lesbian and then for being a pioneer as a trans man, I allowed the religious dogma and years of emotional abuse to get in my head which lead me to be in a very dark place for quite a while. I apologize for all the turmoil I have created and all the harm I may have caused. I promise you now that I will be as fierce as I once was as an advocate, continuing to educate and fight for our rights and well-being.

To those who are detransitioning, please take the time to heal and reflect, feeling shame for making a mistake is normal, but don’t let that emotion turn into anger and be bitter. You will only harm yourselves in the end. Take time away from the internet, and heal. When the time is right share your story in hopes that you may help another person not make the same mistakes. There is no shame in making errors in life, we learn and grow from them.