Change Is Growth

losing loads of body hair since being hormone free

I find myself explaining my every move in life, finding excuses and creating scenarios that in the end make me look bad. I have for the most part been a very constant person, it has only been the last 3 years that I have been off track and not quite myself.  I am not going to find excuses or blame anyone or anything for my actions, I take full responsibility for what I have said and done. I attribute many things to personal changes, and life’s lessons, all important factors for growth. What is that saying? The only constant in life is change, well heck isn’t that the truth?

I feel that self-sabotage plays a massive role in the things I have done and the decisions I have made, many of them I am not very proud of, but heck, I can’t take them back, I can only move forward. I find myself lost at times, trying to find my center, and that can be rather difficult when you are not sure what your center is. I use to know, but find myself trying to relearn it. I have no doubt, that things will return to normal for me, it has all been quite the learning experience.

bulking up with Suma natural herb

What I have accomplished from all of this Maham, is to learn more and more about people, the politics behind certain movements and beliefs, the true nature of humans, and the real confusion that engulfs our world. It is all part of the Matrix and our way of life, there is a purpose behind it all, we just have to listen.

I am glad that I can regroup, refresh and can restart, I call all of this my healing phase, and what I am healing off, you may ask? The human condition I would say.  Every day I learn and every day I make mistakes, it is a pattern that we must be in tune with for change to take place.  My goal for the next 50 years is to find balance, feel the best I have ever felt, be a beacon of light and life for others, love my wife unconditionally and be the best human I can be. I want to rid myself of all that is damaging and hurtful, not just to myself but to those around me. I have done and said terrible things to people who have been in my same boat, and for that I am sorry. I am human, and as a human, I make mistakes. I want to learn not to judge, but to listen, to find that perfection can lead to self-destruction, I want not to always need to be the teacher, but to learn to be a student as well, or frankly, just to be.

Still able to grow a beard without Testosterone

I know that I know nothing, I only know what is best for me and not for others, my journey is mine and mine alone. I can’t force others to see things my way, and if my life can help someone with theirs, then wonderful, but it is not my journey to change the world, my journey is to change myself.

Relearning who I am

Till Next Time