Shame And Regret

I continue to beat myself up for this past months fiasco, my Asberger continues to pound the feelings of disgust and anger I feel for what I have done to myself and the shame I have brought to a movement that is dear in my heart. Why do we as humans do the stupid things we do?

Yesterday, we went to Walmart and purchased a new set of groceries, it seems for the past month our horrific diet led us to the most disgusting area of the store, the meat, and dairy section. I have been feeling terrible, to say the least, not only health wise but emotionally wise and all because of the keto fad, and the inner child that has gone mad.  Few people that I know can be as tormenting to themselves as I am to me, this has been my guiding inner voice that well frankly has kept me out of trouble all these years, and for it, I am thankful. I will continue to beat myself up for the next few weeks till I feel that I have punished myself enough and to make sure that I do not make the same mistake again. That is my mode of operation.

At the store, I felt so much better going through the fruit and veggie aisle, purchased beans, sweet potatoes, and everything plant-based.  We have eggs to use up, but once those are done, no more dairy as well. This is a vegan made body, and vegan it shall remain.  I know lots of people feel they need animal products for their health, its what we have been taught and informed, but not once have any of my blood work been bad being on a vegan diet, and the issues that I so cold-hearted blamed on my vegan lifestyle came from all the stress and the supplementation with the synthetic DHEA that I recently took during the month of December.

But now to reconnect, heal and move forward. I am proud to be a plant-based eater at heart, and there is no shame in that.

Till Next Time