Opening my eyes after the aftermath is pretty difficult to say the least. The voices of “I told you so” come to mind, the pictures in my mind from all the events that lead to the big decision and reactions of those around me, “I am transitioning”, “I was born in the wrong body” words that I pounded on those I love.
I see now how crazy it was, I see myself in the faces of the youth, I was so sure of my decision and so on board with the trans narrative that is devastating the lives of many. What is actually wrong with us, what would possess us to do such atrocities and justify them as right? What will it take to make people wake up from this nightmare they claim to be a life saver and dream? The claims that people are happier, in a better mental place than ever before is only based on the sugar pill approach, for it is so apparent that after the novelty wears off, there issues are still there and the need for more is evident. Surgery after surgery, irresponsible behavior after behavior, the lack of self esteem returns, why are people not being truthful?
The denial that no matter what they do to themselves they will never achieve the ultimate goal of being the opposite sex. They are being lied to and lead by a system that only cares about profit, telling a male bodied individual that they can look like a woman. Unless you are born with androgynous features, small boned, small hands and feet and facial features that will provide you with that feminine look, no matter what you do, you will always be clocked, those are just the facts.
Realize that if your happiness depends on the validation of others, you will never be happy. If your life is based on looks, then you will be heading on a very disappointing ride. You are aging, the aging of a man cannot be hidden with cosmetics or hormones, you will at best look like a freak, just look at the older trans role models and see what they look like. Lynn Conway, Rene Richards, Sylvia Rivera, Lana Lawless and many more who have not grown old gracefully nor healthily due to the lifestyle, stress from surgical procedures and lets us not forget synthetic hormones. This agenda is based on sex and looks, on fetishes and self gratification wrapped in one big ball of mental issues that everyone is missing. Men cannot be women, science has fortified you an illusion that will come tubmling down as you grow older and all the complications that come with this madness.
The selling point of this agenda is what about the suicide rates? Well what about them, suicide is a mental condition that needs to be taken care of, people don’t always get what they want in life. When people claim to want to take their life because they can’t get what they want, that is just wrong and plainly narcissistic. There are too many loses in this endeavor and those responsible for allowing humans to undergo this, should be held accountable. Let us return to our sanity for the trans agenda is full of loses and pain that never, ever goes away.
Addendum Jan 11th 2016: Since writing this blog entry which was part of how I felt then and how I dealt with my anger, confusion and despair, I wish to apologize to the lovely trans women I took my issues on which is not cool or right. Every woman trans or not is beautiful in their own way, and who am I to judge or to be critical for that I apologize.
Mark Angelo: The Search For Truth 
You sound bitter that you couldn’t hack being a man that you’re blasting rad fem propaganda while less than six months ago you were reveling in your masculinity. Caroline Cosey btw is gorgeous.
Also you’re married to a trans woman…how does she feel about this?
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Posted by Sabrina | November 30, 2015, 11:05 pmSabrina bitter? Sorry that is your interpretation of my writing and detrans journal. I am married to a gender variant individual who is two spirited and very much in touch with their duality. As far as not hacking manhood, lol. If you knew me, you would not say such a thing. I was considered a mans man, alpha all the way, but I was also considered that when I lived as a female. I have always had a very strong spirit and walked in both worlds very easily. Caroline Cosey is beautiful indeed and is also intersex, no comparisons there. No rad fem propoganda here, I am me, and speak my truth, no political push for anyone but my own words and thoughts.
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Posted by Maritza Cummings (Ritz) | November 30, 2015, 11:28 pmI also wanted to add that my intentions of this article is to get people to realize that the trans movement is based on looks, well looks don’t last forever, in fact many in this community from the stress, hormones and surgeries have created an unhealthy pattern hence it shows as they age. It is important to look within, and not live life based on looks and ego. I realized this after 13 years, I too made the same mistakes as most, and now I am saying make sure you look deep, because its not about the looks or clothing, its about your heart.
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Posted by Maritza Cummings (Ritz) | December 1, 2015, 12:48 amSaying that people look like freaks at best is very judgemental of you. Who are you to judge what someone looks like? To have written an article that calls out others for looking how they want to as shallow you are extremely quick to deem them ugly which is very superficial. How about instead of telling people how ugly they are you look for the beauty in them and not judge their life or their choices?
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Posted by Allison Scott | January 11, 2016, 1:17 pmYou are right, it was very judgmental of me, and I have since writing this, am coming from a different place. I am working through many dark nights and evolutionary stage of my life. Its a battle I have had within me for a while now. But thankfully I am in a better place. I apologize for what I wrote, if you look at my latest blog entry, I am coming from a different place. Trans women are beautiful and so amazing, I am married to one. Please realize that my words via some of my earlier blog entries came from a place of fear, anger and confusion.
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Posted by Maritza Cummings (Ritz) | January 11, 2016, 5:55 pm